Heavy Heart

Kary's favorite Vermont Farmhouse

It is with a heavy heart that I write this post.  Sadly, our friend Kary from My Farmhouse Kitchen passed away on Saturday, July 28th from chemotherapy complications; she had been diagnosed with bladder cancer last Fall.

I've tried to capture the essence of this wonderful woman and our friendship, I know I do not do her justice, I'm not a writer, I'm simply a friend, who misses her friend.

Kary and I became friends just over two years ago.  My very good friend Susan at From Beyond My Kitchen Window recommended that I visit Kary’s blog.  I was new to the blogging world and Susan knew all the best blogs to visit.  When I visited Kary’s blog she had posted First Apple Pie of the Season.  Many of you know how I love to make pies, but when I saw her pie I thought it was stunning! The crust, the latticework, the crimping, the fluting ~ all amazing!  I recall emailing her and telling her about my family’s “Pie Day” tradition and we became fast friends.  By the end of the month with Susan’s encouragement I was blogging!

Kary's Apple Pie

Kary and I continued to email back and forth daily.  We chatted about everyday stuff, current events, and what we were making for dinner!  More often than not, we discovered that our dinner menus were the same, we thought that was so funny.  How I already miss those emails.

We felt like we were kindred spirits, she on the west coast, me on the east coast.  Our names Kary/Mary, both born in June of the same year, me just 24 days older.   Our husbands John/Ron, both born in December.  Our dogs Teddy/Duke a poodle and a cockapoo.  

Much Loved Cookbooks

We shared a love of our families, cooking and cookbooks - the older the better. We loved tried and true family recipes and traditions; we enjoyed gardening, oh how she love planting her corn; we enjoyed baking and loved our pets.  

The Three Amigos, Whisky Sour, Teddy & Dande

Kary also had two lovely kitty’s, Whisky Sour & Dande (Dandelion), in addition to her beloved Teddy.  On Tuesday I began reading Kary's blog on from the beginning, there is so much warmth in her words.  I came to her early post about the rug with the squirrel, I know how much she loved it, and how much she liked squirrels, birds and all animals in general.  She even had a wood stove that was a called a squirrel stove because it had squirrels on the sides!

This past Tuesday night I dreamt about the rug . . . I got up at 5:30 because we had to go to Massachusetts and we wanted to leave Maine early.  I opened the front door to the porch and saw something I never see - a squirrel was walking down the sidewalk, stopped at the top of my walkway, paused, looked at me, and then went on.  All I could think of was Kary, so I said "Hi Kary" my eyes welled up, and then the little squirrel went on it's way . . . 

Kary was genuinely kind, she reached out to many people all over the world.  She corresponded with people in the US, Canada & Europe, and oh how much she loved my beloved New England.  If someone needed an encouraging word, she was there for him or her.  When my own mom passed away last September, Kary sent me a lovely card and would email me to check in with me.  She knew how I felt, her own mom had passed a few years earlier.  It was shortly after that when her problems began.

Little Teddy, her best friend

She thought about writing a post about what was going on with her.  She asked me what I thought, and I suggested that she write about it when it was all behind her . . . she liked that idea, because she didn’t want people feeling bad for her – now my heart and countless other hearts ache because she left us so suddenly. 

I had a bad feeling when I hadn’t heard back from Kary, so I contacted her good friend of 20+ years, Julie Whitmore.  When Julie told me that Kary had passed away the night before I wept.  Julie posted about Kary this past Thursday, if you can, please visit her post Good Night Beloved Friend to leave a comforting comment.  I can’t imagine how Julie feels. 

Kary had this lovely poem on her blog sidebar . . .  I wish we had talked about it.

The Night Will Never Stay

-Eleanor Farjeon

the night will never stay, 

the night will still go by, 

though with a million stars 

you pin it to the sky; 

though you bind it with 

the blowing wind, 

and buckle it with the moon, 

the night will slip away 

like sorrow or a tune.

Kary in Maine

Our friend Kary is survived by her loving husband, her adorable pets, her family and her many, many friends – old and new.  

Rest in Peace my sweet friend.

Hugs,

Mary & Dukeums